The following is Emiliano's account in his own words. The only editing I did was to asterisk (or dollar sign, or percentage out, etc.) the letters where a few F-bombs were placed in his article. I did this because my next post will very likely pertain to lifestyle steps that should prerequisite most supplement usage. It will, in part, target as an audience many of the high school athletes who I train at a private school in the Milwaukee area. Since I will be linking to this blog from the FaceBook page I created for them, I thought I would take steps to protect their virgin eyes from such foul language as I'm sure they have no experience in this regard.
Without further ado, I'll let Emiliano take it from here.....
"HOW I UN-F*$@ED MYSELF"
I
stumbled, wheezing - trying to catch my breath. "Maybe I'm
just not used to the altitude or the dry air," I thought as I
stumbled along the trail. It was December, and my wife and I were
visiting her family in Arizona for Christmas. On this
particular day we had set out to hike a trail that ran along the
spine of a mountain. The pace was moderate, and the grade was
easy - so why was I sucking so bad? Oh yeah, I got fat and out
of shape. It is pretty easy to do here in Wisconsin; the winter
lasts 8 months and there happens to be a cool bar on every corner.
As a connoisseur of fine food and drink, things snowballed over a
couple years and landed me in this situation: fat-fucked and 20
minutes from the road, barely making it. The rest of my wife's
family strolled along effortlessly with their hands in their
pockets. I expected this from her brother, who looks like a
champion roman gladiator, but not from her parents, who are about
twice my age. I made it through the hike, and back to the car -
but not without some serious soul-searching.
Emiliano's in-laws, Stephen H. and Midori S. are no strangers to fitness |
To
add insult to injury, the next day we were forced to visit my
in-law’s gym and watch them complete a special workout for my
father-in-law’s 60th birthday. (Can't we just hang out at the
house?) They had been doing this thing called CrossFit for a
couple of years and wanted us to come see what it is all about.
We slumped in the corner of the gym as everyone blasted through 60
reps of a bunch of different exercises like it was their job. Fuck my
life, I feel like even more of a slob. The rest of the holiday
was legit - but I didn't forget the low point, and decided that it
was time to take action.
My
wife and I had a heart-to-heart after returning to Milwaukee. We both
agreed that it was time to un-f*&! ourselves and start exercising and
eating better. (Whoa, a New Year's Resolution...) Neither
of us had ever been frequent gym-goers, and we’d certainly never
f*%$d around with weight training. My wife had played some
club sports in middle and high school, but I had never done anything
like that. We had, however, met each other while participating
in a Brazilian Capoeira class. We both remembered being in
shape - but didn't know how to get back there.
After
much deliberation - we decided to secretly sign up for the CrossFit
Milwaukee On-Ramp class starting in January of 2011. In
addition, we started eating strict Paleo style according to the Robb
Wolf book that my mother-in-law so kindly gave us. Already, by
cleaning up our diet and sleeping for 8 hours at night, I had a lot
more energy and didn't feel lethargic after eating (or "feeding,"
in those days). I could already tell that my pants were fitting
better, and I wasn't constantly bloated anymore.
I
was nervous as f!@# when we showed up for the first On-Ramp class.
The room was packed shoulder-to-shoulder for the warmup. "Are
all these people going to straight up smoke me like those
CrossFitters in Arizona?" I thought to myself. We went
over some basic drills and talked about technique. Then we received
instructions on how to do the workout of the day.. That workout
was designed to test general fitness for the beginning and the end of
the On-Ramp cycle. It included Shuttle Runs, Squats, Push-Ups, and
Sit-ups. Basic enough - yet it completely gassed me. The
runs made me feel like vomiting, and I failed out a number of times
doing push-ups on my knees. Damn. Once the urge to hurl
subsided - I was hooked. I hadn't felt that rush of adrenaline
in so long, and I knew that I had to be able to do at least one
single legit push-up… or else have my man card revoked. The
rest of the On-Ramp got progressively more difficult, and more
rewarding. CrossFit helped me grit my teeth and taught me to
finish no matter what. I don't care if it takes me an hour to
complete the workout - I will finish it, because it can be done.
This mentality helped me stay in for the long run and finish the
On-Ramp while the class size dwindled as time went on. About a
third of the original January class completed the On-Ramp cycle.
They are tough bastards now, and you will see them in the gym
relentlessly attacking the workouts. CrossFit helped me take
ownership of my body and realize that I was responsible, and capable
of changing myself for the better.
Emiliano sets up for a trap-bar deadlift. |
Ryan,
Alex S. and Jonathan P. were responsible for introducing me to the
barbell - and I don't think I can thank them enough for that.
My hunger for strength is insatiable and now occupies the core of my
training. Strength training gives me concrete goals, and a
course of action to complete in order to meet those goals. I
completed my first CrossFit Total in March of this year (2011).
For those of you unfamiliar with the Total it consists of making 3
attempts at a 1 rep max in the Standing Press, Back Squat, and
Deadlift. I pressed #132, Squatted #265, and Deadlifted #335
that day - Totaling 732. Coach Chad L. helped me get pissed and
pull that #335 that was beyond my mental limitations. I was
fucking high - the rush from lifting heavy weights was so
invigorating and awesome - I needed more. After training hard
and consistent I had my next chance to gauge my progress at the end
of May. I had been hitting at least three CrossFit classes a
week (M-W-F), and strength training the 3 lifts on Saturday.
Hard work pays off. The new Total of 875 was stacked by
Pressing #154, Squatting #315, and Pulling #406. It is now
September, and those 1 rep numbers are what I use for my 3 x 5
training. The other week I squatted a legit butt-to- floor #385
for a single.
This
isn't bragging - it is showing that anyone can come from nothing and
build up to impressive feats of strength, conditioning, endurance, or
sport. This is about changing your mindset and your worldview
to achieve the goals that you set for yourself - assuming that you
currently have defined goals. If you don't - make some.
Now is the time to Un-f*&% yourself. Make a commitment to
yourself and keep it. CrossFit Milwaukee gave me the tools to
produce the results that I wanted, and has the ability to adapt to
your particular interests and needs. CrossFit Milwaukee has a
great environment that is friendly, supportive, challenging, and
competitive. How can you have all of these facets in one gym?
I don't know - but CrossFit Milwaukee definitely does. That’s
what happens when you have great coaches and a lot of chalk and sweat
in the air.
Inspiring!! Impressive!! I broke my desk with a karate chop!! That's my son!(in law)! Makes me very happy. What a tale of triumph. It is a great story told well. I'm very grateful to Ryan A. and the gang at CrossFit Milwaukee for launching (unchaining) the good beast. Thought for a moment I could catch Emiliano's CrossFit Total. Nah. Not happening, today. But tomorrow, maybe... just maybe... Also, a shoutout to Jen H. and Carl W. (owners of CFW)and to my crossfitty homies at CrossFit Works in Tucson. Milwaukeeans, come play with us if you're ever in Tucson. You'd be most welcome. Emiliano, well done man, well done. Now, how are your handstand pushups?
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